Matters of the Heart

​Five years ago, Summer of 2012, I made a covenant to the Lord. I prayed it over to Him that by His grace no matter what comes in my way, I will not get into a relationship. Rather I will focus my time, my effort, energy, skill and everything of me in my studies and my service to God. I made the commitment seriously, and just this year Summer of 2017, the covenant ended. And I wasn’t able to remind myself right away about it. (Because I was too occupied with things like career, ministry and family) but now the matters about my heart is haunting me again and before I forgot about the things I learned from the past, let me at least write it down tonight before it will all be gone.
Here are the things I have learned from the past 5 years about the matters of my heart.
1. Do not romanticize intimadation and overwhelmingness. 

– This is especially true if the person you’re talking to talk so much about the Lord and all the knowledge he knows about theology and all of the spiritual aspects of life.
2. Do not WAIT ON a specific person. WAIT on God not on him. 

– We have the tendecy to pray for someone we like, because we admire him and somehow we consider him as our future partner, yes you can pray for blessings for his life but girl, do not get easily overwhelemed with the thought that just because your praying for him he is already the person God prepared for you. Wait on HIM not on him (especially if you’ve been waiting for four years already but he hasn’t said anything to level up your friendship, and he never intended to pursue you)
3. Real love doesn’t do fast track.

– In this fast paced world, where everything is instant you might misundertood that the love God prepared for you is also as easy and as instant as the 3 in 1 coffee. Love is patient, it requires friendship, time, effort and trust to build a long lasting love relationship. If he can’t wait, oh dear it isn’t love at all. 
4. Confession is commitment. 

– truly we do not assume otherwise stated, but if one has the nerve to confess in person, well you might consider (or if you have already been considering him and just waiting for him to reveal his feelings – do not be easy on him by confessing right away) If he confess, let him wait for a response from you by telling him “I will pray first before saying anything” leave him a mystery, let him wait, let him be challenge and wonder what might be your answer.
5. Do not initiate. I repeat, do not initiate.

– Men are made to be the hunters, the pursuers, it is in their innate being to be the one to do the talking, the asking, and the waiting for our response. and NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. Us women are designed to be protected, to be taken care of and to be loved and as powerful as the effect of response we gave, other than that their is one more important task we ought to keep on doing. And that is DOING NOTHING in the aspect of initiating, asking, giving hints or anything that can make your potential love cheap. I believe it is the most difficult thing to do especially if we are wondering what ifs like “what if he’s going to find someone else” then if that happens certainly he’s not the one for you.
6. PRAY. DO NOT STOP PRAYING.
If his existence, bothers you… pray.

If his presence, minds you… pray.

If he keeps running inside your head… pray.

There is no other way as powerful as prayer. 

There is power in praying, and if your prayer is against the will of the Father, do not worry about that because the more you soak yourself in prayer, the more God will reveal the truth about what you feel.  Keep praying to God and keep asking for His help because it is only Him that can satisfy our longing for love. He certainly gave us this trouble so that we can grow and be more mature in this aspect.

He certainly allowed our feelings to be disturbed. Sometimes even shattered, and most of the times dying – so that a new living heart will bloom and grow. Like a seed that dies, a sprout will come out and it will signify growth and until it matures to become a plant that has flowers blooming  in it and  when the petals are falling a fruit is forming. 
Keep Praying and Never Doubt the Lord’s Amazing Timing. 
His ways are higher than our ways, 

His thoughts are higher than our thoughts.

We can always trust Jesus even if things doesn’t make sense anymore. 
May the grace of God turn my sorrow into joy,

May the love of Christ turn my longing into laughter, may the dying seed inside my heart, grow and sprout a more mature version of me until He comes thee. 
O Lord, the God of grace and hope.

My soul clings on you. 

You are my rock and you anchor my spirit,

thank you for doing such…

and because of Your love 

my spirit and soul will not easily drift away,

especially in dealing in this little matters of thy heart.
#heartscontent

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Loving Quietly.

​Loving in silence,

in quietness my soul longs…

patiently waiting,

denying my desire…
wanting for you,

hoping that you would consider me, too.

my heart is in brokenness 

realizing how silly I have become.
I don’t have anything to do,

other than the nothingness…

God wants me to.
I sleep in silence,

wishing that this waiting will come to an end.

That someday the thought of you pursuing me 

will no longer be in my fantasy.
Realizing that the waiting game 

isn’t a funny thing to play.

I sleep in silence, trying to pretend 

all of these feelings will go away.
#melancholicmood #patheticheart 

How to Avoid Another Heartbreak

 

The battle inside my heart is being intensified, not because someone poked at me but because of my selfishness and pride and how God is telling me to leave all behind the things I cherish and like, certainly there are a lot of good things happening in my life right now, it is so good that I want to keep it all for myself – but God’s ways are higher than my ways, His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. He doesn’t want me to settle for good things, He wants me, He wants us to wait and trust in Him for the greater things He has prepared for us.

This is the reason why I am battling, because I’ve seen so many good things as of now, I’ve seen good circumstances and good people – that because of my selfishness I want them for myself and for my good pleasure.

Another battle with the Lord is happening inside my heart right now, because I know for the fact that God is telling me to move forward, to keep going, to keep trusting Him and run for the greater things he has prepared for me.

this isn’t about career, this isn’t about my family, this is about my most anticipated and most awaited thing in my life. this is about me worrying about my future partner and who will become the love of my life.

and I am writing this article out of my frustration and disappointment to myself because I know that I am becoming like Martha again, so easily preoccupied and worried and concern about the the future lies. that instead of being like Mary whose heart is for Jesus alone, who seated at the foot of Jesus and listened the whole time to what Jesus teaching about, instead of having Mary’s heart… I am in the battle of scraping of Martha’s worrying-distracting-concerned spirit in me.

This is a battle that has a very obvious solution, but most of the normal selfish people do, we have the difficulty to obediently follow it through. Somehow my spirit is sad, because just by the time that I came to realize that I adore someone that makes my heart glad, God is reminding me not to cling on my emotion because certainly there is another heart break that is in notion.

My final resort for this frustration is to cling on God instead of foolishly entertaining my feelings. It’s kind of difficult especially that my emotions are driving my mind all the time, I am to remind myself that I should be the one mastering my emotions and not my emotions mastering over me. So here I am, trying to leave all my disappointments behind, by writing this down and hoping that I may feel better again and move forward for the future that God is preparing.

After A Year…

It’s been a long time since the last time I wrote about something,

I’ve been missing the clicking sound of the keyboard and the rush of thoughts that overflows inside my head when wanting to write down something. There are a lot of things inside my heart right now and I may not write it all down because some of it are personal and not that I do not want to share it but first I have to sort my thoughts.

The reason why I just wanted to write down something today here is because my heart has never been this SO grateful and thankful to the Lord – today seems an ordinary day, a usual regular day coming to work, addressing the concerns of my patient’s teeth. But in my heart, this day is NO ordinary, because today – i have never felt this grateful and thankful than ever.

I remember that a year ago I have been praying and hoping that this day will come, when I no longer face my reviewers, I no longer study hard for exam nor comply to the unending requirements of my course – dentistry. And today indeed, I may happily say that I no longer worry nor think of such things. Gone are the days that I have that student mindset where I always think of the things I should finish doing so that I can already finish my studies.

This note is significant because today I may see I have actually pass through what they called “transition stage” of being a student, being a clinician, turning into a full time private practice associate dentist. And today after almost a year, I have already taken inside my system the life that I have been praying and asking from the Lord.

and again I will say it, I never have been this thankful and grateful. I never felt this feeling of accomplishment and greatness and completeness inside my heart. If not for the Lord that has answered my prayers, I will never be writing down such things as these. But truly I can testify today, that the Word of the Lord is true, that His promises are real when He said in His words in John 15:7 “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” This has been my greatest desire, to live a successful life in practicing dentistry in the context of being a Christian and how I may give glory to God by means of being excellent in the profession that He has given me. And today, with much gratefulness inside my heart, I may say that my wish has been granted by the Lord our greatest God.

I learn that it is never impossible to have what we asked and we wish for before the Lord, it just simply requires  FAITH to keep believing in the Lord even at times we no longer understand why things happen to us, it requires PATIENCE for us to keep on waiting and waiting upon the greatest timing of the Lord and to keep inside our impatience, granting the desire of our heart requires OBEDIENCE to what God has willed for us, submitting first to what He wanted us to do, and in order for us to keep obeying we also need to keep reading His Words, another things is TRUST, trusting in the Lord and in His words even in times that God seems so silent and unreachable and lastly GRATEFULNESS to what God has given us – whether in simple things or in grandiose things, we have to learn how to be consistently thankful to what He has given even to the prayers that hasn’t been answered, and even to the delays that God allowed to happen. All of these things has a reason, and when God sees we learn how to be thankful and appreciate of what He has been given, He will reward us more than what we deserve. That’s how the Lord is, He is good, he is generous and he will remain faithful to His words.

Therefore my dear brethren, as you along read this article, may it give you also the encouragement to grow more in your faith in the Lord. We may not be in the same phase in life right now, but we can altogether apply what God has been teaching through His words. All God wanted from us, is to remain in His words for surely He will remain in us also. Find JOY in the Lord, find Hope, find Strength in His ever Almighty Name.

This is your Pretty Young Dentist, who happens to be a follower of Christ.

Signing off, till we see each other again. God bless you all!

Dear Heart

​As for my heart.. I prayed to God to have my heart back.. Actually it was here originally, it was just me putting it somewhere else that it doesn’t belong.

I finally came to understand that it is more joyful to release all the worries and anxieties I have in my heart and start trusting Jesus.. That as He loved me, as He filled my life with joy and love today.. There’s no reason for me to stay in that one lonely corner inside my heart where I don’t move on and keep feeling sorry for myself. 

Jesus came to love us, Jesus came to save us out from the longingness and loneliness we felt. He came here on earth so that we may receive love.. And now that we have fully understand that.. It is not difficult to find love and receive love from other people.. Because the Lord our God has already provided that for us.. We need not to beg for love, we need not to ask for love.. We need not to search for love.. because it was and is already being offered to us.. Why would we ought to search for it that in fact love is already here.. Love is here. And love is in the Name of Jesus. The more we soaked our hearts, our thoughts, and our minds to Him.. The more we get to see the beauty of our Lord.. The beauty of His love that is lavished upon us his children. 😍

Dear heart, please do not worry nor do not get anxious if the Lord our Father haven’t permitted you to have the man you’ve been praying for, now. Wait upon the Lord because the Lord is good and His favor is within those who wait on Him.. Keep trusting in the Lords promises.. He is the God of good timing, you will never be left behind as long as you keep trusting in Him. 

#heartscontent 

I choose JESUS.

This life has been a fast-paced one for me, I remember facing the year 2016 with so much excitement in my heart because I’ll be taking the Dental Licensure Examination and with four months of prayer and preparation the Lord granted my request to pass the Board Examination and that doesn’t stop in there anotherbig blessing came because the day after the result were out, I immediately went to a local dental clinic here in our place (General Santos City) to practice in a private setting.

And thinking again what the Lord has done in my life, thinking that 2017 is fast approaching here I am now with my heart in awe with the Lord, grateful and praiseful for all the He has done in my life and I came to realize how good and faithful the Lord is to those who are willing to submit to His will and willing to serve His people.

I am a living testimony, a living witness of how the Lord blesses His people, of how He shows His faithfulness and His goodness to His children. and that no matter how far we get through with this life ahead of us, we have to stand in our faith. To stand in what we believe in, that choosing Jesus is what it takes to live a life full of meaning, full of grace and full of beauty. Choosing Jesus no matter what life throws at us, will always lead us to victory.

I choose Jesus, it is all by the grace of God that we can be able to keep choosing Him.

Heart’s Content

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.. How much more if you write about it. We can learn about someone else’s heart if we learn from what he speaks and what he says. Once you see a person such like that, that’s a rare privilege especially if what he’s talking about is more of God’s heart, Gods’s will and God’s plan more than about himself and his plans.

One that denies himself and giving more priority in doing the will of God is somewhat noble. Being unconsciously selfless and learning to lean more and trust more in Jesus. That’s a man you should be asking for God, a man that loves Jesus more than you do. A man that knows where He is going and where He is staying.. Which is going towards a progressive and pro-active-serving-the-Lord future and at the same time a man that knows where to stay, which is in the presence of God.

This man is a rare precious gift from God and its never wrong to desire such man, as a woman of faith.. This is our time to put into act the practice of faith and trusting in the Lord.. That though this desire may somewhat sound perfect and too ideal.. its never impossible if were asking for it in our Lord who is the God of all possibility.

Women, this is the art of waiting.. It comes beautifully when we wait patiently in the Lord, when we trust fully in His hands, and when we choose not to settle for less… When we wait, we wait actively – praying to God that someday soonest then the man that we are seeking and desiring for will arrive.

#heartscontent